Yana Djin

  Cowboys and Indians
Moscow News
April,  2001


A number of reports circulating in the American press have been spreading alarming news for the white population of this country. According to these reports, in about 50 years or so, the face of major US cities will look completely different: three out of four people that one would likely meet on the street is not going to be of a white race. The predominant race of the second half of the 21st century in America is expected to be Hispanic. Although people in urban centers are not negatively inclined towards this news, the rural America, still very much functioning by the Puritan ethics of its ancestors, is not taking this information lightly.

The white churches and communities from upstate New York to Michigan, from Virginia to Florida, are trying to come up with ways not to be outnumbered. So far, they have offered dubious solutions and lots of empty rhetoric ranging from ambitious patriotism to outright racism. One group in rural Michigan, which calls itself “Whites With Rights”, decided that the best way to go about controlling the situation would be to prohibit abortions when both of the future parents are white and enforce them when at least one of the parents is not of the “pure, white” race.

The “God-fearing” southerners are being a bit more pro-active than their northern compatriots and are calling for the white people of America to multiply without delay. They even wanted to lift the ban on incest in order to encourage the rural population of West Virginia and Kentucky. But no such luck! So, I suppose, those of us in America that are expecting to be around in fifty years or so should polish up on our Spanish. According to the predictions, it is going to be the second official language in the United States.

If the “simple-hearted” rural folks are taking this trend as a race issue, the practical urban population is mostly thinking of long-term economic implications. Business analysts and consultants are drafting reports as to how to best meet the rapidly changing market. Rumor has it that pretty soon McDonald’s is going to start providing the hot salsa sauce instead of the generic ketchup. Ketchup, I believe, is not the only generic and sterile trademark of the present American life that will be replaced with the upcoming Latin invasion. As the Hispanic immigration spreads throughout the United States, there is a growing number of voices complaining about the difficulty of living alongside their Latin neighbors. The complaints are mostly petty and insignificant. Both black and white Americans claim that Hispanics are terrible neighbors since they do nothing to keep the neighborhood homogenous. Their northern neighbors say that Latinos neglect to mow the lawn, paint their houses in the same bland colors that people of American suburbia prefer, let their relatives and friends who often find themselves in dire straits stay with them until they get back on their feet, etc. In other words, they have brought along with them traits that are incompatible with this society.

By letting their relatives stay with them instead of kicking them out on the street where they will join the ever-growing homeless population, Latinos are disregarding the sacred clause of American existence: private property.

The value on private property automatically depreciates if all the lawns on the block are not of the same size and color and if the dogs are allowed to defecate on them. In fact, not picking up after one’s dog is considered a prosecutable offense in most US cities. Fortunately, Hispanics are oblivious to the complaints of the Anglo-Saxon neighbors mainly because they usually do not speak nor make any attempt to speak the English language. The latter, as far as they are concerned, is a very difficult language that consists of foreign words that are incorrectly pronounced.

Hispanics, unlike the aborigines, do not have an agenda. Their goal is to have a roof, which they usually paint in expressionist colors, and enough to eat for themselves and their kin. They are not greedy and they are not attracted by luxuries – the fact that, in my opinion, already places them above the local population.

An average Hispanic male, for example does not find it necessary to have a remote control for every unnecessary electronic equipment in his “dream-house”. An American male, by contrast, finds it morally offensive to lift his usually oversized behind from an easy chair in order to turn a digital humidifier. In his book, there is still room for improvement if he actually needs to move around. Unlike the locals, they are not squeamish of any work and, as a rule, perform their chores faster and better. Finally, they are not socially ambitious in the American sense and therefore they work to live – not vice versa.

Overall, their women, men and children are happier than the rest of the Americans simply because they choose to live simply. They are the only true Tolstoyans in this country, if you will, and their value and lifestyles will soon become the norm on this continent. For the sake of comparison they are Tolstoy’s Levins from Anna Karenina as opposed to Anna’s pragmatic and puritanical husband who has much in common with the modern American proclivities towards social ambitions and acceptance.

In my opinion, this is the time to rejoice for the future generations who, unlike the present-day Americans surrounded by the sterility of law, are going to be surrounded by actual living beings with actual human characteristics. I would even go as far as replace the English language with Spanish if it means forgetting certain politically correct jargon that the soul-less aborigines came up with in order to veneer their own monstrosity.

And as far as cultural implications of the Hispanic invasion, we are already feeling its effects. The American music charts have been taken over by Latin singers; the bestseller’s lists sport names of Latin authors; fashion designers are looking at Latin barrios for the latest hints.

I think the trend is irreversible and from a purely selfish point of view I am saddened that I will not be around to witness it when it reaches its zenith. Because at that point it will become apparent, to paraphrase the now-under-quoted Lenin, that the Hispanics are that invisible rope upon which American capitalism, which believes in profit above all else, will hang.

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